And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
