I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
