bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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