We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
