I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
