I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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