so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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