need another drink. this is the easiest way
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
