i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize