I'm lost and stupid without you.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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