It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
