have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
