Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My hand turned me down
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We just shotgunned beers for America
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am one with the molecules
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
