If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
