so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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