Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
