she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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