Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
