taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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