I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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