Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize