I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
