i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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