my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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