he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
