after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
