Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
