dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
