It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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