Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
