I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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