I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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