shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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