you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
