Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
