She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
