oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
