i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
