they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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