One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
