she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
