okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
