We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize