im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
