I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
