whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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