just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
