Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
