He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
