does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
