Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I love you. Go after that dick
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
