Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
