I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize