I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize