i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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