he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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