even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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