New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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