we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
