The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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