dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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