I smell stomach acid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
