i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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