I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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