is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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