we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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