My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
