Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
