Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well you can't waste a boner
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
