He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
