Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
