Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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