He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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