were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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