did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
