ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
