We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I need mimosas to revive my soul
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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