she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
