You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
