last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
